Come what may
.
May 22, 2009 • written by Abby Hammes
Filed under Senior Edition
As the days grow longer and the temperatures warmer, the countdown until graduation has begun. Previous to now, I’ve shoved the thought of graduation far back in my mind. I never tried on my cap or gown, but stored them out of sight in a spare closet; I have not come to terms with the fact that a majority of my best friends are going out of town for college next year, seemingly leaving me behind; and I have almost avoided senioritis (yeah right).
However, I now realize that the day is coming. Graduation is real, and what we face after it is looming in the distance. I always thought I would look forward to graduation with apprehension and relief, but what I’m feeling now is a mix of emotions I don’t even know if I can begin to sort out.
In retrospect, high school has been a gargantuan swirl of stress, little sleep, lots of studying, and struggling to stay sane. With this have come great friends, insane inside jokes, spontaneous outings, and genuinely good times. I honestly can’t say what I’m going to remember when I look back on high school in thirty years. I hope I remember the good times.
A lot of us are saying that we can’t wait to get out of here, and I’m right there with you. I’m sick of the droning day-to-day monotony of high school life. I’m sick of the little drama and pettiness I have to deal with. I’m sick of the constant stress and pressure.
The problem is, once I think about it, graduating isn’t going to save me. It’s a big world out there, and I’m still not sure where I’m headed. Even though I’ve decided on attending North Dakota State University in the fall, a comfortable college close to home, where a large number of our seniors will be attending, I don’t know where to go from there.
I always thought I would have it all figured out. I’d get good grades throughout high school, be super involved, get into a really great college, and work my tail off to get a degree to form a spectacular career so I could live happily ever after. But reality is crashing down on me. The fact of the matter is, I didn’t get a chance to apply to a really great college. I think NDSU is a great school, but I’m not necessarily excited to go there. This is without mentioning that once I go there, I’m going to have to face the daunting question of what I want to do with the rest of my life. Honestly, I don’t know if I’m ready for the rest of my life.
I don’t know what the future will bring. I could absolutely love NDSU. I could miraculously find my calling tomorrow. I could sufficiently be able to keep in touch with my current friends all while making new ones. I’m not sure. What I do know is that with so many eyes on graduation day, I can’t forget to live in today. Right now, I only need to make the best of what I have. All I can do is roll with the punches, come what may.
Comments
Feel free to leave a comment...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!